How I am...............

I guess you all should know just how I am.. When I dont know people I dont feel right talking. I know kenny and Holley but that is about all I know from in there. Well I know Tora we are online sisters. Tora, Windy, Tora's sisters, and cousin and me took a trip to Memphis, TN. I love Tora and Windy as if they are my real life sisters.

I have two brothers and my dad. My mom passed away in July of 2000. Alot of things have happened between me and my brothers and dad also. But I am here taking care of my dad since his health is failing him. My brothers wouldnt do it. My life hasnt been easy or the best. I was married for 23 years and after the first 6 months he started beating me for all kinds of reasons. Two years before my mom died he started having an affair with this woman at work. So he choice to walk off from me and the kids. I have talked to some men on line and it always ends up me getting hurt. So I am very very scared of being hurt again on here. I put my faith and life in God's hands. He took a brain tumor away from me and has done alot for my life. I still have health problems but I dont let it stop me I just have to keep going. I'm not much better than my dad is health wise but with my kids help we are making it. I dont feel sorry for myself even if it sounds like it. and I dont want alot of attention. I just want to fit in somewhere. I really dont know where that is. I got kicked out of church because I was sick and couldnt be there every time the doors where open. So I never went back to that church. So I dont know where I belong anymore. We have went to a few churches but still havent found one that we feel right in. I keep praying one day I will. I am lost right now and I am tring to work my way back to God. There is alot more that has happen in my life but right now that is enough.