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Growing up , I faced many issues of feeling less than .
I struggled with school, with being accepted among my peers.
Let's face it, it's not easy growing up. It's like a roller coaster ride!
One minute you're up and the next you're down.
All the pressures of growing up and wanting to fit in.
There were different periods in my life, where Jesus made himself very real to me. At age 3 , singing Jesus Loves Me , in a Sunday School Worship time , at age 8 at a neighborhood Vacation bible school program, and at age 13 at a David Wilkerson Crusade. I loved Jesus with all my heart. I had accepted Jesus into my heart! I was on fire for the Lord. I was passing out tracts on street corners telling the world about JESUS! Then .. something happened. I was attacked by four boys in a park who molested me and I felt soiled and guilty and shamed. I walked away feeling I would not be forgiven.( for something I did not do ) I had no one to teach me otherwise.So I walked away .
This really affected me and how I felt towards myself. I had grown up with many things being spoken to me about what I could or could not do, not all positive, nothing that would make me want to go out and conquer the world. There were many comparisons made between me and my sisters as well as with our cousins and other children. It was obvious to me that there was something very wrong with me and I would never be good enough, smart enough, or successful enough in life. That the dreams of things I wanted to be where unreachable and I needed to be realistic. So I listened and before you knew it , I was living it ! I dropped out of High school and took my GED. I was working jobs for pennies and never challenging myself to be anything more.
Then in 1988.... God got a hold of me. I gave my life to the Lord, and gave him permission to begin a new work in me. Because of the roots of rejection that had been planted in me through words and actions and all that I received into my spirit, there was much work that needed to be done. The Lord took full residence of my life!
He gave me Psalm 139, and it began to breathe new life into me, and I began to see my self through His eyes!
HE said that He created my inmost being, and that He had knit me together in my mother's womb ! Imagine that ! HE knit me together! He designed me! Everything about ME ! HE made me!!!
And then he said that I was FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made!
Wow, I had never heard that before! I was Fearfully and Wonderfully made! Imagine that! WOW! GOD said that??? Then he said he saw my unformed body!! Than he said He saw every day of my life before him and he had it all written in a book already just for me!!
Before I was even Born! HE knew ME!!!! WOW!!!! HE knew me!!! He knew every thing about ME!!! I must have a purpose, I thought !
This began my healing! He continued to speak words of encouragement into me, such as , I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me,Phililipians 4:13 .
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans togive you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
and All things work together for good to them who love God and are fitting in according to His purpose.Romans 8:28. He was restoring my soul! Psalms 23:3
So my word of encouragement to you today is .. many may speak things over you throughout your life of who they think you are or who you should be,but God KNOWS who you are ! And HE has a plan for your life ! You were made with a special Purpose in mind! A special design for that purpose! There was no mistake! You were Fearfully and Wonderfully made! Take time to sit with the Father and ask Him to show you how HE sees you ! Ask him what His purpose for your life is!
We all are intricately put together to weave a picture that completes a beautiful Tapestry for His kingdom. Ask him how you fit into his divine plan! Embrace who He says you are and know that nothing is too difficult for our GOD !